SlimFast Powder (Original Formula)
Back in the day, SlimFast promised, “A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch…” and a gnawing sense of hunger by dinner. The original formula had more sugar than a cupcake. It’s still around, but the old-school version? Gone, replaced by less controversial (and less nostalgic) blends.
Sea Breeze Astringent
This bottle of teenage dreams literally burned your pores off—but in a “refreshing” way. Once in every medicine cabinet, it’s now hard to find, thanks to gentler skincare trends. These days, Gen Z prefers serums that don’t feel like napalm on their cheeks.
Tiger Balm Patches
These little squares were the dragon’s breath of muscle relief. The smell alone cleared the sinuses on contact. Though Tiger Balm itself lives on, the once-ubiquitous patches have become harder to find—and pricier. Some blame modern branding. Others just miss the satisfying sting of old-school menthol warfare.
Vibrating Weight Loss Belts
Who needed cardio when you had a jiggly strap around your waist? These vibrating belts promised six-pack abs while you watched reruns. Spoiler alert: they didn’t work. Science caught up, and so did price tags. Now, they’re gym curiosities or ironic gifts for fitness buffs with a sense of humor.
Avon Skin So Soft Bath Oil
Meant to moisturize, this cult classic moonlighted as a mosquito repellent. Your grandma swore by it, your aunt doused herself in it, and your bathroom reeked of it. Avon still sells it, but the original recipe (and low price) is a thing of the scented, slippery past.
St. Ives Apricot Scrub (Old Formula)
This gritty little exfoliator was a staple for teens everywhere, scrubbing away sins with every sandpaper swipe. Later, dermatologists declared it a face-ruining menace. Lawsuits followed, and the old version faded. The new one’s gentler but no longer feels like exfoliating with ground-up tree bark—somehow, that’s a little sad.
ThighMaster
Suzanne Somers made squeezing plastic between your legs look like a fitness revolution. The ThighMaster was affordable, cheesy, and gloriously awkward. It’s still out there (hello, eBay), but prices shot up as it morphed into a vintage collector’s item. Who knew inner-thigh toning would become retro gold?
Centrum Silver (Early Formulas)
Multivitamins for the “over 50” crowd once came with cartoonish levels of iron and chalky textures galore. The original formulas have since been reformulated into something less concrete-like—and pricier. Blame updated health guidelines or inflation, but boomers miss their bargain bin vitamins with that deliciously weird metallic aftertaste.
Herbal Essences Shampoo (Classic Scent)
Before it smelled like a botanical garden, Herbal Essences had that scent—floral, fruity, and totally unforgettable. It made showers feel like steamy tropical commercials. The scent was so beloved it got petitions after being discontinued. The relaunches never quite nailed it, and prices soared on leftover bottles.
Noxzema Cold Cream
This thick, tingly cream lived in a heavy glass jar and made your skin feel like it just walked through a snowstorm. Noxzema still exists, but the glass packaging and original menthol overload have vanished—or gotten luxe-pricey. Nostalgia never came so cold and creamy.
Bonne Bell Lip Smackers (Jumbo Tubes)
These chubby sticks of flavored joy were a rite of passage. Lip Smackers still exist, but the jumbo tubes are rare and often pricey online. Apparently, nostalgia and lip hydration make quite the power couple in the resale market.
Home Tanning Lamps
In the '80s, nothing said "healthy glow" like roasting yourself under a personal sunlamp. Portable tanning devices promised bronze beauty—plus bonus UV damage! Thankfully, common sense (and science) prevailed.
Clearasil Pads (Extra Strength)
Drenched in salicylic acid and the tears of puberty, these potent little pads stung like betrayal. They worked—kind of—but mainly taught teens about pain tolerance. Over time, formulas got gentler, but the old-school version disappeared or became overpriced on niche skincare sites.
Wheat Germ Oil Capsules
Before fish oil stole the spotlight, wellness gurus swore by wheat germ oil for skin and heart health. It had a charming nutty aroma and the unfortunate shelf life of an avocado. High production costs and minimal demand pushed it out of the mainstream and into pricey health food exile.
Bonnie Bell 10.0. 6 Toner
This was an ‘80s skin ritual—sharp, drying, and unapologetically strong. It smelled like someone bottled teenage rebellion with a splash of alcohol. 10.0.6 still exists in some form, but the original formula has become elusive and overpriced, hiding in vintage beauty hauls and eBay treasure hunts.
Infrared Heat Lamps for Pain Relief
Before heating pads became smart-tech marvels, folks turned to glowing red lamps that looked like something out of a mad scientist’s lair. They actually worked—but weren’t exactly cute or safe. Similar gadgets exist now, but the retro originals fetch high prices from collectors and alternative wellness enthusiasts.
Jean Naté After Bath Splash
If you didn’t get doused in Jean Naté by your grandma post-shower, did you even grow up in the ‘80s? This citrusy cologne-slash-tonic was a rite of passage. Still around in limited form, but the OG big bottles with their bargain price tags? Long gone, darling.
Breath Asure Capsules
These little green capsules claimed to fight bad breath from the inside out, and for a while, people were popping them like candy. Garlic bread at lunch? No problem! But demand dipped, and so did production. Now, they’re a rare find with prices that make fresh mint look like a bargain.
Sauna Suit
Wrap yourself in a trash bag and sweat out your sins—at least, that’s what these sauna suits promised. Athletes and dieters swore by them until dehydration and fashion crimes caught up. You can still find them, but the cheap old-school ones? Either vanished or was way too pricey for glorified plastic.
Tension Tamer Tea (Original Formula)
This celestial brew promised to calm your nerves with eleuthero root and a hint of ‘70s zen. The original formula quietly disappeared, leaving fans in a caffeine-free panic. While a new version exists, the calming magic (and price point) just isn’t the same. Stress now requires a subscription box.
